Honestly I’m trying my best to be positive and some moments I feel a little better then most. But i’ve lost faith in who i believed and what i believed in. All of a sudden I don’t want to be close to anyone anymore. It has never done me any good in the past so why would I think that it would now.
My undergrad life so far has been amazing. Granted i’ve had my ups and downs, i’ve met so many people that I adore with all my heart. My friends are my family because they are what keeps me going. I am absolutely scared to graduate, and even though I have a whole year left I myself know how fast time goes by. There are too many people I don’t want to part with. Especially my twin :( she has no idea how important she is to me and I can’t bare to not be close to her. I’m not scared to admit my affiliated life with sororities and frats mean a lot to me. I mean I established my social network with them. In that life I am somebody and I matter to people. Of course I don’t want to be that alumni who doesn’t stop going out to stuff but like what to do when in college you meet people younger and older then you. Sighhh I love all my littles so much but they are all freshmen and so young. As much as I want to stick around for as long as possible I need to start my own life. I’ve been so stressed lately and maybe that’s why i never do my readings and i rather drink. Its cuz when i read i think about all the shit I need to plan and do that it just makes me exhausted. I love my life way tooo much right now. Don’t get me wrong it has nothing to do with being in the sorority itself but its that I love these people that i’ve met. From my pledge sisters, to my twin, my faves, my pseudos, my littles, and of course my zetas. My zetas are where everything began my freshmen year. I love those guys they are like brothers. ughhh i shall sleep i dont wanna think anymore.